Joke of the Day

[ozbox]

[Gaddy]

A little american but you will get the gist!

No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us,
WE ARE AWESOME !!!
OUR Lives are LIVING PROOF !!!
To Those of Us Born
1925 - 1970 :
At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, please
read what he said.


Very well stated, Mr. Leno.
~~~~~~~~~
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930s, '40s, '50s, '60s and '70s!!


First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank
while they were pregnant.


They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.


Then, after that trauma, we were
put to sleep on our tummies
in baby cribs covered
with bright colored lead-based paints.


We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets,
and, when we rode our bikes,
we had baseball caps,
not helmets, on our heads.




As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes..




Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.


We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.




We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.




We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight.
WHY?


Because we were always outside playing...that's why!


We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day.
--And, we were OKAY.


We would spend hours building
our go-carts out of scraps
and then ride them down the hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes.. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem..


We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes. There were
no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
no video movies or DVDs,
no surround-sound or CDs,
no cell phones,
no personal computers,
no Internet and no chat rooms.


WE HAD FRIENDS
and we went outside and found them!


We fell out of trees, got cut,
broke bones and teeth,
and there were no lawsuits
from those accidents.

We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, and no one would call child services to report abuse..

We ate worms, and mud pies
made from dirt, and
the worms did not live in us forever.



We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and
-although we were told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.


Little League had tryouts
and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn
to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!




These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers,
problem solvers, and inventors ever.


The past 50 to 85 years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas..


We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.


If YOU are one of those born
between 1925-1970, CONGRATULATIONS!


You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.


While you are at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.


Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?
~~~~~~~
The quote of the month
by
Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

[mckackie]

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.
She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps..
He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.
As they walked through the ape exhibit,
They passed in front of a large, silverblack gorilla.
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.
He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.
He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.
She did... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
"Now..... show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell him you have a headache."

--- Updated ---

A suggestion.........
Let those men who want to marry men, marry men.

Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
In three generations, there will be no Greens.
I just love it when a plan comes together!!

[hqgts]

They met at the over 70's singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.
Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....

Claude was thinking: 'If I'd known she was still a virgin, I'd have jumped her bones sooner.'

Maude was thinking: 'If I'd known he could still get it up, I'd have taken my pantyhose off '