Sad

[mauser]

I will say that the help you get here is sometimes difficult to find. When I was stuck trying to get a 6 week baby to feed from a bottle and three other kids under 10 and an absent mother there is no-one around to even steer you in the right direction. The closest I could find was a mens help center staffed with Indian cousellers who asked what I was doing there. I wasnt a drug addict\alcoholic or really depressed (well not happy but not clinically depressed) and was just looking for some advice on WTF to do. They couldnt even find someone to advise me on anything. I think one of them said "where's the mother?"

Months later I was trying to work out how to get on Family day care, dealing with Centrelink\Family services, schools, CSA, and still having to go to work to pay the morgage and support them. It's no wonder people fall off the edge... its impossible. My experiance is woman walk into Centerlink and get given help and assitance from them and contacts for womans help groups. Men walk in there and they give you a pile of forms and ask if you want "Job Start" for fwuck sake. I thought they just laughed at me standing there with a baby and three small kids. It took 9 months, three times they cancelled my family services application with no explanation, to even get registered on the Centerlink Family services system so you can give the childcare centre a reference number for the rebate.

I was at the after-school care the other week signing out the kids and a bloke just turned up and was asking about holiday care. Of course it was full weeks ago and the instant expression was bewilderment and dispair on his face. You could see he had just came from work, standing there with a kid on his hip, it was so heartbreaking. I thought to myself "I know where you are mate".

Sometimes you just have to take one day at a time and now my youngest is nearly 5 and I look back and laugh sometimes. If I hear of other blokes in similar situations I send them a text and ask if they need anything... makes all the difference even if they dont answer.

My mates used to ring and ask if I wanted to come watch the footy in the shed on a Friday night... I knew I couldn't, they knew I couldn't... but they still rang. Bloody good mates.


Mauser

[wbute]

Hats off to you Mauser. To do that on your own is huge. Especially with the 6 month old. Your kids are lucky having a father as dedicated as you.

Having a bloke moment off not being able to write what I think, but your a legend mate!

[Epic_Dragon]

good on ya mauser. i dont think a lot of people realise how difficult it can be for a single father, with the judgmental people out there, and descrimination. but like wbute says, your a legend and sound like a great father!

very sad, sorry for your bad news jennie. a local vet here was lost to the same illness as well just lsat week :( and being a country man he never shared his feelings. men, share your feelings! i have personal experience with the black dog. when you get that down, and cant see the light, that option seems the only way out. so your not a burdon on family and friends anymore, or society. i get very angry with people who just say mental illness and depression is a cop out, or its not that bad. it peeves me right off. i nearly took my life, its a serious illness that can trap you. and sufferers need supporting, and dont need to feel like they area burden, as your never a burdon to loved ones.

[wbute]

Yeah depression is a very real thing and it doesnt pick or choose who it attaches it self too. The term "Black Dog" so I believe was coined by Winston Churchill. He was a sufferer as well.
I have heard horror stories of farmers affected by the dog, but it is a horrible thing that affects anyone.
Sorry to hear about your friend Jennie. So sad.

[Mazdragon]

sitting here at work Mauser reading yr story.... got the tears going ... I have never suffered depression, tho sometimes, in particular over the last year or so I do feel down at times. Somehow i pick myself up tho and keep going. I guess people become imune to seeing depression, they don't want to know cos it's all too hard... and when you walk into Centrelink... it IS depressg... i remember being in the queue during a stint of unemployment... i've worked and supported myself all my life and then suddenly i was in the dole queue after 24yrs of working... i felt like screaming "i'm not a f*n loser! I lost my job cos the business owner drank the place to the ground!" (he was an alcoholic which i didn't know). Centrelink is judgemental, no matter what they say. But if you need help, even just an ear to listen... get that ear... get someone to talk to... sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger as there's nothing else binding you... whatever works for you and if you're on the outside looking in and see someone else that needs help but won't/can't ask for it... try anyway... it's someone's son/daughter, brother/sister, mother/father, uncle/aunt etc

[Gaddy]

That is so sad Jen !
The Black Dog! Depression ! Call it what you like but it is VERY real and will most likely touch all of us sometime through our lives, wether directly or indirectly, like this thread!
I don't know Mausers story but it is a sad one I'm sure yet he got through it , and is getting through it with the help of family and friends!
I lost my wife of 16 years to the DOG over 4 years ago! And with my three boys to look after and a business to run it was a task I would not wish on anyone.
I too felt at times that checking out might be an option but with the help of my family and friends and some professional guidance I'm still here.

Help is at hand for all of us! Your gp can put you on a mental health plan so you can see a professional for psychological assistance, will prescribe you meds to help you through things.
Depression is NOT a weekness! And you can be a sufferer no matter who you are or what your circumstances!
Look at Rene Rivkin!
There can be no obvious reason! A simple chemical imbalance can cause it!
If you have high blood pressure you can help it with a pill!
If you have diabetes you can manage it with an injection!
So don't hide it or pretend it's not your style or your stronger than that cos we all need some help sometimes!
And if you are alone and feel that there is no one to talk to or who will listen, please at least pick up the phone and call beyond blue or lifeline 131114 and just tell someone how you are feeling cos I know it helps.

[wbute]

to Gaddy. Once again I cant put into words what I want to say, but good on you mate.

[HK1837]

I have an idea, maybe call it a pact. If anyone on this forum today (or tomorrow or whatever) thinks, or even has a hint that they are not coping then speak up here. No-one will judge, maybe opening up to a group online might help? And if all it takes is a text or phone call to say hello as Mauser says even that might make a difference. Maybe a local site member can drop around and say hi, have a yak etc? Just thoughts anyway.

[the ski man]

being involved in scouting as a leader for kids between 14 and 18 I see alot of kids opening their eyes to the big bad world. Part of my job so to speak is that I spend alot of time listening to their problems and issues and generally provide guidance and help them wade through what looks like a world ending issue. I am certainly one who values a talk and believes that the power of words and support is far greater than any medication. dont get me wrong im no Doctor, but i do know medication may be required in some cases.

On another note, given the number of replies to this topic it looks like this issue is quite passionate for most of us, as an online community perhaps we should show our support to a mental health organisation, we all have vans, we are in all positions of this wide brown land, surely someone smarter than me can think of a way we might be able to collectively offer something to a support organisation

I did have a quick look around the web this arvo and the following has been sourced from the Beyond Blue website:
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?

Mental Health week 9th to 15th of October 2011 http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.a...nk_id=104.1379

During Mental Health Week, beyondblue will be encouraging everyone - individuals, community groups and workplaces - to help raise awareness of depression and anxiety, and reduce the associated stigma by ordering free beyondblue information and displaying it in your workplace or local community centre. Information resources for Mental Health Week can be ordered from our website from September.

Movember, facial hair for a cause during November http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.a...nk_id=104.1265

The funds raised by Movember participants have been dedicated to improving men's health in rural, remote, regional and metro areas across Australia, by supporting beyondblue men's health projects

If i can get approval through work i'd happily take on a Movember challenge, as part of a mySANDMAN team...

some food for thought anyway.


ski man