Sad

[jennie285]

Had a sad phone call from a friend yesterday telling me this guy sitting in the bean bag, and also owns the yellow van died last week...he had depression..(so I will leave it up to your imagination as to what happened to him). I have been trying to find him to show him pics of our van, but I guess now it is too late...anyways if anyone on this forum has inklings of this horrible illness go and seek some help and advise...he left behind a loving wife, and three boys...

This is advice from the forum mum....

[HK1837]

Yes very sad. I have never really understood the mechanisms of depression, stress, addictions and the like but they are a real problem in modern society. I agree with Jenny, even if you don't think you have a depression or stress issue but you see or someone else sees the signs do something about it.

[Paddy_77HZ_Ute]

"Go and get some help" IS the best advise Jenny. I had a brush with depression myself, and if understanding and admitting you might have a depression issue isn't hard enough (you know australian men, especially from country areas), accepting that someone else is going to help you get your head straight is even harder. As you said, once you suspect you or a friend may have an issue, the doc should be priority. A GP will refer you if he can't deal with it himself, just depends how far out of whack you are really.

I've discussed this with a couple of mates of mine since, who I thought appeared to be a bit suspect. One was already getting treatment and the other did after I talked to him. Funny thing about it, non of us could think of any reason for it, no apparent problems, which makes it really hard to identify. However, if you get a fact sheet and read the symptoms, it's pretty obvious and opens your eyes a bit.

I'm fine now....that's what the voices reckon anyway.....! Seriously though, my life is a whole lot better now, and on the outside, not a lot has changed.

[agr071]

Very sad to hear the news Jennie.
I've known of a few people over the years who have been unable to cope.
That's the 3rd person today that i've heard of who have died over the last week.
The other 2 were regular customers at work, except they were in their mid to late 80's.

[jennie285]

Very sad to hear the news Jennie.
I've known of a few people over the years who have been unable to cope.
That's the 3rd person today that i've heard of who have died over the last week.
The other 2 were regular customers at work, except they were in their mid to late 80's.

This guy would have been 51, he was a great mate to us all and many parties were had at his various houses etc. He was a carpenter, and moved from Forbes to the gold coast in the mid 80's...

[Rolla]

Very sad indeed. Mental illness is something none of us can really understand, unless of course you work in the field or suffer from it personally. I recently lost my uncle to severe mental illness. It's something family or friends etc should get on top of before the person suffering from it does something that will alter the course of his life dramatically, like suicide. Even if it means getting them detained. It must be done! My heart goes out to the family. :lifesaver:

[mauser]

I will say that the help you get here is sometimes difficult to find. When I was stuck trying to get a 6 week baby to feed from a bottle and three other kids under 10 and an absent mother there is no-one around to even steer you in the right direction. The closest I could find was a mens help center staffed with Indian cousellers who asked what I was doing there. I wasnt a drug addict\alcoholic or really depressed (well not happy but not clinically depressed) and was just looking for some advice on WTF to do. They couldnt even find someone to advise me on anything. I think one of them said "where's the mother?"

Months later I was trying to work out how to get on Family day care, dealing with Centrelink\Family services, schools, CSA, and still having to go to work to pay the morgage and support them. It's no wonder people fall off the edge... its impossible. My experiance is woman walk into Centerlink and get given help and assitance from them and contacts for womans help groups. Men walk in there and they give you a pile of forms and ask if you want "Job Start" for fwuck sake. I thought they just laughed at me standing there with a baby and three small kids. It took 9 months, three times they cancelled my family services application with no explanation, to even get registered on the Centerlink Family services system so you can give the childcare centre a reference number for the rebate.

I was at the after-school care the other week signing out the kids and a bloke just turned up and was asking about holiday care. Of course it was full weeks ago and the instant expression was bewilderment and dispair on his face. You could see he had just came from work, standing there with a kid on his hip, it was so heartbreaking. I thought to myself "I know where you are mate".

Sometimes you just have to take one day at a time and now my youngest is nearly 5 and I look back and laugh sometimes. If I hear of other blokes in similar situations I send them a text and ask if they need anything... makes all the difference even if they dont answer.

My mates used to ring and ask if I wanted to come watch the footy in the shed on a Friday night... I knew I couldn't, they knew I couldn't... but they still rang. Bloody good mates.


Mauser

[wbute]

Hats off to you Mauser. To do that on your own is huge. Especially with the 6 month old. Your kids are lucky having a father as dedicated as you.

Having a bloke moment off not being able to write what I think, but your a legend mate!

[Epic_Dragon]

good on ya mauser. i dont think a lot of people realise how difficult it can be for a single father, with the judgmental people out there, and descrimination. but like wbute says, your a legend and sound like a great father!

very sad, sorry for your bad news jennie. a local vet here was lost to the same illness as well just lsat week :( and being a country man he never shared his feelings. men, share your feelings! i have personal experience with the black dog. when you get that down, and cant see the light, that option seems the only way out. so your not a burdon on family and friends anymore, or society. i get very angry with people who just say mental illness and depression is a cop out, or its not that bad. it peeves me right off. i nearly took my life, its a serious illness that can trap you. and sufferers need supporting, and dont need to feel like they area burden, as your never a burdon to loved ones.

[wbute]

Yeah depression is a very real thing and it doesnt pick or choose who it attaches it self too. The term "Black Dog" so I believe was coined by Winston Churchill. He was a sufferer as well.
I have heard horror stories of farmers affected by the dog, but it is a horrible thing that affects anyone.
Sorry to hear about your friend Jennie. So sad.